Weekly Weigh In - 6/22/15

Last week's weight: 230.4. 

This week:

This doesn't even make sense. I'm ready to cry, scream, and/or COMPLETELY GIVE UP. WTF????????

Weekly Weigh In - 6/15/15

Last week's weight: 229.5. This week:

I have no bloody clue how I managed to gain a pound, other than the three hardcore weight training workouts I did this week and the VERY hot weather we're having (water retention?) and the one hardcore cheat meal (grilled cheese and disco fries) and the one hard cider I drank when we went to see a band play the other night, but all I can do is move on. 

This week: more cardio, less weights (2 Zumba classes and 2 circuit classes), LOTS more water, and the cheat meal needs to be not quite so salty, fatty, and low in protein. 

As the lovely LBG says...onwards. 

Breakfast

Almost every day, I have homemade muesli for breakfast. If you're not familiar with muesli, a quick definition is:

...a breakfast dish based on raw rolled oats and other ingredients including grains, fresh or dried fruits, seeds and nuts, mixed with milk, soy milk, yogurt or fruit juice.

The way I make mine is that I go to the health food store and hit up the bulk food bins for raw rolled oats (which make up about 75% of the recipe) and any of the following (to make up the remaining 25%):

wheat germ

sunflower seeds

pumpkin seeds

sesame seeds

flax seeds

almonds

walnuts

pecans

cashews

dried cranberries

dried tart cherries *

dried apricots *

dried apples *

dried coconut *

cinnamon

nutmeg

ginger

* note: I use UNSWEETENED and UNSULPHERED dried fruits wherever possible. Cranberries are the only fruit I have not been unable to find unsweetened

You can really use any kind of nuts/seeds/dried fruit you like - most people use raisins but I don't like them. I tried using chia seeds once but it makes the whole thing very gooey and gelatinous. I didn't care for it. And keep the dried fruit content on the low side because it does contain sugar - I don't add ANY other sweetener so a little dried fruit does make it tasty, though, and things like dried cherries have big health benefits (reduce inflammation) so I like to use them.

I lightly toast the oats dry for about 10 minutes in a 350 degree oven, just until they start to get a nutty scent and get a touch darker. Eating the oats completely raw is perfectly fine, but it can cause a little gastrointestinal distress. I then mix everything together and store it in a glass jar in the fridge for about a week. I measure out a portion each day to take to work with me and eat it at my desk with skim milk or yogurt (I prefer it with milk). To serve, I measure out 1/3 cup of muesli, 1/2 scoop of protein powder (I use EAS Lean 15 in vanilla - adds 4 grams of protein and 25 calories), and 1/2 cup of milk and mix it all together.

This mix is very high in fiber (the really important kind that lowers cholesterol and increases satiety), omega-3 fatty acids, and best of all, it's really tasty. 

Weekly Weigh In - 6/8/15

I decided to do my weekly weigh in on my fancy work scale every week, on Monday mornings. It's a little higher than my home scale first thing in the morning pre-coffee and undressed, but it's easier to get a photo of this one so I figure as long as I'm consistent. So without further ado...

What I Eat

As part of my renewed commitment to a healthy and nourishing diet, at the recommendation of a trainer friend who is in the process of losing the baby weight from her 9 week old newborn, I decided to try a meal prep service. The price is reasonable - $8 per meal, and the portions are enormous so I can make one of those meals last for lunch and dinner, sometimes stretching it with a small salad. They give me the calorie count of every meal and I only order the high protein choices. The minimum order is 10 meals per week, but my husband eats a couple of them and I'm also ordering food for my co-worker who I'm doing a work weight loss challenge with (more about that another time). I work in a cardiology office and we are lucky enough to have a healthy catered lunch a few days a week - there's almost always protein and salad and veggies and fruit salad. Friday we had lunch catered from an awesome vegan restaurant - I had an avocado sandwich on sprouted grain bread with greens, sprouts, and zucchini "bacon"...it was delicious! On days we don't have catered lunch, I know I always have a healthy meal in the fridge and don't have to give in to fast food or pizza.

I like to cook, but with my work and workout schedule, I don't always have time to cook and so the meal plan has ensured that after I work a full day then go to the gym, I don't hit the fast food drive thru on my way home. (I still cook a healthy meal - usually chicken and veggies - a couple of nights a week.)

Food pick up is on Sundays...here's what my fridge looks like tonight:

On the menu this week:

Pecan Crusted Chicken Salad - mixed greens, craisins, pecans, mandarin oranges and fresh mozzarella served with house vinaigrette 

Penne w/ sausage & broccoli rabe - Sliced sausage sautéed with broccoli rabe and roasted garlic tossed with whole grain penne pasta served with a side of julienne mixed vegetables.

Quinoa Shrimp Cakes - shrimp, onions, carrots, celery, egg whites and quinoa topped with a lemon mustard sauce served with a side of baked sweet potato rounds.

Bunless Balsamic Turkey Burger - topped with balsamic caramelized red onions served with a side of baked sweet potato rounds 

Mahi topped with a fresh cucumber mango salsa served with a side of julienne mixed veggies

Moroccan flavor baked chicken breast served over lentil salad (onion, celery, shredded carrots and lentil) with a side of oven roasted cauliflower 

If anyone is interested in seeing what these meals look like, I will take photos throughout the course of the week and share them.

Starting Over...Again

I can't even believe I need to write this post, but here I go.

I used to have a band blog. I was one of those "superstar" bloggers. I lost 100 pounds. I started out at nearly 300 pounds. I was down to 189. Life was awesome. I worked out like crazy. I took nutrition classes. I never missed a support group. I was invincible. I was going to meet all of my goals, almost effortlessly. I felt bad for those poor slobs who ate like crap and never worked out and had trouble with their bands. It was magical, if you weren't stupid or lazy. I had a popular blog. All of my real life friends and family wanted to know the secret of my success. So I shared my blog with them.

Yeah. And then reality happened.

Regain. I weigh 228 pounds now. Damn it...I didn't want to say that out loud.

I had some legal problems. I had some money problems. My husband was laid off. I was underemployed. We almost lost our home. I quit my fancy gym for 6 months. I was working two jobs.

I was having trouble with my band (stress? probably) and really couldn't afford $150 for every fill/unfill so I stayed at unhealthy fill levels for too long. I spent MONTHS way too loose, gained weight. I got a big fat fill and couldn't eat anything other than nachos and soup, gained weight. I was too sick with nausea and acid reflux to work out. I vomited at the gym multiple times so I stopped going.

Excuses, I know. But that's reality.

My blog, my safe place to vent, was gone. I didn't want to talk about my problems and have everyone I knew reading about them. I didn't want pity. I didn't want everyone's well meaning but useless "solutions" to all my problems.

Mostly I was ashamed. I still am.

So I stopped blogging. I told very few people about what was going on. But I'm here to tell you...

I need support.

I need help.

I'm not ready to go public, but I need my safe space. So I'm starting this new blog anonymously. And I hope you will read it and give me some support. I will share my identity with my bariatric friends in time, but not yet. Please give me a minute.

I have started over, not just here, but in life. I got an unfill. I had 6.8 cc's in my band and I had 3.8 taken out, leaving me with 3 cc's. I feel fine...just hungry. I'm working out 3-4 times per week. I worked out a deal with my trainer at the fancy gym in exchange for my services and got a cheap membership. In addition, I have a couple of good friends who are trainers and they're opening a gym this week, so I can go there too. I have significantly improved my eating habits and am down about 8 pounds. I can eat solid protein and veggies again.

We had a resolution to a good portion of our legal issues last week and things are looking up there. We refinanced our home and are not going to lose it anytime soon.

So here I am. And that's all I have right now.

Thanks for reading.